How to Overcome the Feeling of Being Overwhelmed: 7 Simple Steps

Picture of To Do List with Too many Things To Do on itLife can be stressful. Balancing school/work, financial responsibilities, relationship stressors, or health/mental health concerns can lead to feeling like you are struggling to stay afloat. If you find yourself questioning “how do I overcome this feeling of being overwhelmed”, you are not alone. A recent poll conducted by statistics Canada revealed that one-quarter of Canadians are experiencing extreme stress most days1. Stress impacts everyone, and everyone has different mental and emotional thresholds of how much they can take. Although it may seem daunting, it is possible to learn skills to turn down the noise when you are overrun with feelings of stress and anxiety. By taking these few extra steps, you may be able to manage your stress a little better, regardless of the cause.

7 steps to overcome the feeling of being overwhelmed:

  1. Pause and breathe

It’s seems simple, but it works! When things start to build up, and you start to feel like a pot boiling over, the first thing you can do is take a step back and breathe. By taking that mental pause, you prevent yourself from reacting based on the overwhelming feelings you are experiencing. A growing number of studies have revealed that using breathing techniques trigger body relaxation responses and benefit your physical and mental health2. In fact, these techniques actively reduce stress and help improve attention. Even a swift 30 second pause to breathe will lower your stress levels2.

Deep Breathing Exercise Instructions saying inhale, hold, exhale, hold, rest, breatheAn example of a breathing technique to try out is box breathing. This 4-step deep breathing technique aims to help slow down your breathing by reducing your oxygen intake which in turn calms down your nervous system. Try it out for yourself!

  • Step 1: slowly exhale
  • Step 2: hold your breath
  • Step 3: slowly inhale
  • Step 4: hold your breath
  • Repeat!

For more information on Box Breathing, check out this short video from Sunnybrook Hospital: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tEmt1Znux58

  1. Ask why you are feeling overwhelmed (what is the root cause?)

Once you have taken some deep breaths and regrouped, it may be beneficial to understand what is causing these overwhelming feelings. Ask yourself…is it work? Your personal relationships? The unknown? Be specific! Perhaps putting a pen to paper and creating a list of the stressors will help. A major source of stress can come from not knowing where to begin with all the obligations crowding your mind. By writing things down, you can create a tangible list (almost like a to-do list), and separate the things you can gain control of right now. This written stream of thoughts will allow you to express yourself freely, and release those thoughts from your mind. Furthermore, seeing our thoughts and worries written on paper can help us develop a new relationship with our thoughts and shift our perspective.

  1. Woman pointing at a chart of items she has completedFocus on what you can control

Once you have created your list, try to separate it into things you can change right now (even if it is as simple as responding to some emails you have been putting off). Don’t try to brush it under the rug! Sometimes when we feel overwhelmed, we engage in procrastination and avoid certain tasks. It can be helpful to notice if, and even more importantly why, you might be procrastinating on a task (e.g., not knowing where to start, trying to do too many things at once, not having enough information/knowledge to get something done). By identifying your pattern of procrastination, you can develop a game plan for how to tackle it. And most importantly, take it one step at a time. Baby steps often get us to our goals more effectively than trying to do all the things!

  1. Accept what you can’t control

With that list, there will likely be stressors that you have little control over, or things that you alone cannot fix in this moment (e.g., a global pandemic, current political issues, climate change, other people’s behaviours). Although you may not be able to control these sorts of problems, you can control your attitude and reaction towards them. Distinguishing between what we can control and what is out of our hands can help us be more realistic in our goals and allow us to prioritize things more effectively.

  1. Three students lying in the grass sleeping with their textbooks covering their faces and their legs crossedTake breaks

Decades of research have shown that extended periods of stress can take a toll on your mental and physical health3. Sometimes a break is necessary to allow yourself time to rest and cope with the things overwhelming you. Whether it be a vacation or an afternoon off, it is important to create physical and mental distance between you and your list of obligations. Studies have shown that even a quick break to read a chapter of your book, or take a walk around the block, can result in reduced stress, clearer thinking, and increased productivity3. Taking breaks interrupts the cycle of stress that perpetually leads to you feeling overwhelmed, and allows you to think sharper and perform better when you return to your task! For more information on the benefits of breaks, check out our earlier post: https://waterloocbt.ca/blog/breaks-are-good-for-your-brain/.

  1. man and woman staning in front of a chart with three columns, to do, doing and doneCreate a system that works for you

If you find yourself perpetually overwhelmed or scatterbrained, perhaps you could benefit from a new system of organization. This may take some trial and error to figure out the process that works best for you. Perhaps utilizing the calendar app on your phone is all the help you need. Alternately, you may need to schedule regular time in your schedule for specific tasks, especially tasks that are challenging or that you tend to procrastinate on. Other options could be daily to-do lists, a large physical calendar on the fridge, or even colour coding tasks based on priority. Finding the strategy that works for you will increase your productivity and reduce that feeling of being overwhelmed.

  1. Ask for help!

Sometimes we need a little bit of extra help to get to where we want to be, and that is okay. Whether that be from a trusted friend, a family member, or a therapist, it is okay and normal to ask for help. Sometimes sitting down and letting it all out may be enough to provide you some relief, and reinforce that you are not alone. Seeking professional help from a therapist can also be extremely beneficial. Therapists are trained to offer you tools to cope with the stressors of daily life. You can work together to train yourself to cope in a healthier way, and recognize patters that may be unhelpful. For example, a therapist may use cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which aims to teach you new ways of doing things that you can continue to use even after therapy has ended.

Woman therapist seated and talking to a man client sitting on her couch

Overall, stress affects everyone differently. Listening to yourself and prioritizing your needs is the best place to start. Remember, these overwhelming feelings are temporary and these 7 tips can help you begin to feel a sense of relief. You’ve got this!


Authors: Emma Weber, BSc. and Dr. Dubravka Gavric, C.Psych.

References:

  1. Statistics Canada. Table 13-10-0096-04 Perceived life stress, by age group. https://doi.org/10.25318/1310009601-eng
  2. Ma, X., Yue, Z.-Q., Gong, Z.-Q., Zhang, H., Duan, N.-Y., Shi, Y.-T., Wei, G.-X., & Li, Y.-F. (2017). The effect of diaphragmatic breathing on attention, negative affect and stress in healthy adults. Frontiers in Psychology, 8. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2017.00874
  3. Elizabeth Scott, P. D. (2022, March 31). How to take a break from work (and Why you need it). Verywell Mind. Retrieved July 4, 2022, from https://www.verywellmind.com/why-you-should-take-a-break-3144576